Be Back to Writing Soon – Need Feedback

Hey all. Long time no talk.

Between work, writer’s block, and a few more things I have been away from my story much longer than I thought I would.

Obviously that sucks, and I know people are left waiting,

I am going to be going back and rereading my entire story in intimate detail to reacquaint myself with everything and sketch out all the plot elements so I do not accidentally drop a plot thread due to my long absence.

I would greatly appreciate any comments about the story, the plot, missing or confusing elements, as this is one of the times when I will actually be able to take in everything as a whole. That is a luxury I do not have too often, simply because it would bog me down if I was already moving full speed ahead.

Also please tell me what you are excited about, what you want to see. Authors like to be excited about their stories too, haha. And you might trigger an idea that becomes a paragraph or scene.

All of you that are following me and waiting eagerly, thank you for your patience.

I will never abandon this story, even if some diversions occur.

Thank you so much,

AJ Foxmoor

2 thoughts on “Be Back to Writing Soon – Need Feedback”

  1. Hey! You caught me during a crunch period, so I don’t have the time to reacquaint myself with your work, however I would like to make a show of support. Alas, all I can reasonably provide right now is a basic explanation of what I can remember most and least enjoying about your story so far with some inferences about what that means for your story going forward.

    What I found most enjoyable was how you took the time to not only muse on the mechanics of how a ‘dungeon core’ would actually do things, (e.g. soul/mana network in the air with descriptions that allude to actual physical processes that we will likely eventually understand) but also integrate the implications of these musings into the MC’s actions and the plot as a whole.

    What I found least enjoyable was the sudden shift to more traditional dungeon growth. It lost not only the focus on minutiae of world mechanics that the narrative needed to take a step away from, but also the detailed understanding of the MC’s achievements that we had up till then. While these two losses seem similar, one is a broadening of scope, while the other is a fundamental shift.

    As it stands, the readers no longer have any particular connection to any of the feats that the MC achieved in creating his new dungeon. It all sounds pretty cool when you explain it to us, but while this nicely shows us the scenery in which dungeon delving shenanigans will happen in the future it offhandedly tells us about a lot of notable discoveries, decisions about how the MC will approach being a dungeon on a practical level, and so on (indeed, it only tells us of a number of these things implicitly).

    The story is no longer about a dungeon core learning interacting with and learning about the world on a personal level, but about the philosophical musings of a dungeon master MC, the cool things in his dungeon, and the cool things that happen there.

    This is not to say that the new direction of your story post-teleportation is inherently bad, merely that it is a fundamentally different mode of story telling. Unless you commit to only one of these narratives (or invent an entirely new mode), you are going to face some combination of style/narrative whiplash caused by switching between them and loss of focus caused by trying to address them both at once.

    So, uh. Food for thought? If you want, I can try to come back to put a little bit more constructive in my criticism/applause.


    1. Thanks for this. I will definitely consider your advice.
      Also please feel free to give more criticism. I can always use more.
      Also I am finally having the time to reread and rewrite, so I am hoping to do a new release soon.


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